With bowls out the window, it’s booze and bingo for the foul-mouthed Big Angie who along with her Dolly by name dolly by nature pal have retired to Craig Tara caravan park to ogle the local crooner. But “baw deep” into their second week it all goes Pete Tong when a loyalist rock band by the name of Huns n Roses supplant the object of their affection who by the end of their holiday from hell turns into the object of their aversion. Square goes with schemey lassies, lines of coke with a boyband on the slide and heart to hearts with a butch female bouncer. As Big Angie says: “Nae cunt’s perfect”. And contrary to Huey the Crooner, the worst is yet to come.

Chris McQueer © Sinead Grainger

The first of 19 tall tales in HWFG, Chris McQueer’s sparkling follow up to his debut collection of “short stories ‘n that” Hings which won the 2018 Sabateour Award for Best Short Story Collection. And given how bold, fresh, current, wacky, laugh out loud funny and wonderfully written these walks on the wild side of Glasgow and beyond (North Korea) and below (the bottom of the ocean) are, it’s fair to say that more gongs await.

From two Weegie apprentices chewing the cud about Brexit to a washed-up screw with a gammy leg having a square go with the Great Leader (“Tell Kim he’s getting fucking leathered”), this is politics with a small p. But it’s silly and surreal with a brace of large S’s. For McQueer takes ordinary people from ordinary backgrounds and places and puts them on an extraordinary journey which has more twists than a Chubby Checker convention. The endings of which are joyously unpredictable. None more so than Interview With The Shoe Guy in which the purveyor of single shoes by the roadside together with Trooser Wummin, Glove Cunt and Soaks give a hack a right royal roasting.

“I’m finding it hard to guess Kojak’s motives,” says said hack after being taken to the banks of Hogganfield Loch to feed the ducks. “To guess what he’s going to do next, to work out the right things to say back.” A fitting critique of Chris McQueer’s collection of tall tales which are as inventive as they are funny. And whether his next offering is more short stories or a novel, I for one would part with the best of a groat to find out who won the bare-knuckle brawl between the two political heavyweights on the undercard of Big Frank and Kim Jong-un – in the red corner, Mhairi Black; in the red, white and blue corner, Ruth Davidson. BIFO!

Peter Callaghan

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