I’m in love. He’s tall, dark, and so hot, he should come with his own fire extinguisher. But there’s only one problem with this passionate relationship…my Mr Right isn’t real.
Like many others, I’ve devoted my heart to characters that dwell not in reality, but on the page or silver screen. I’m of course talking about the woefully misunderstood, the gallantly principled, and most crucially, the devastatingly dashing heroes of romantic fiction.
These gents woo me, intrigue me, motivate me, and insist that I demand more of life and love. But it has left me wondering: why in the 21st century, when our choices and habits in relation to dating and marriage have evolved so radically, do we still crave these chaps?
So, I decided to ask why icons like Darcy, Thornton, Rochester, Poldark, and Crawley, make us fall for imaginary fellas.
Firstly, I asked people to reveal who they consider to be the ultimate prince charming of prose.
Sarah from Australia said:
For Wentworth, (Persuasion), it’s his passion and unwavering love for Anne. He’s just so devoted to her even after years of separation. He’s definitely the most romantic of Austen’s male leads….Gabriel Oak, (Far from the Madding Crowd), is the very definition of patience…his quiet, long-suffering character is just the sweetest.
It seems for some, it’s the enduring, loyal suitors who make them swoon.
Thea from Norway maintains:
John Thornton, (North and South), is my guy…He’s no ponse; he’s a tough cookie who has an insecure heart…There’s something endearing about an eligible bachelor, who in a time when men could frolic without consequence, holds back on getting hitched, because he wants to wait for his one true love. Then when she comes, this cool and calculated master crumbles into something beautifully defenceless.
So, for others, it’s about finding a supressed hunk and cracking open that hard outer shell, to find the softer yolk of love within.
However, it wouldn’t be a true who’s who of heartthrobs, if we didn’t mention the poster boy of romanticism, Pride and Prejudice’s Mr Darcy himself. Wade from Washington, USA is one fan of the main man, saying:
I like him because he starts out such a flawed character, and is gradually redeemed…he’s a man handed everything in life on a plate, and he kind of stuffs it up…It takes a woman basically handing him his ass to get him over that.
For some, it’s about blokes being taken down a peg or two by love and having their pride and prejudices challenged along the way, making them worthy of their women.
Alright, so that covers who we all fancy being stuck in an elevator with, but why are we spellbound by them in particular? Why do we need to backtrack hundreds of years to find an ideal husband?
Sarah suggests:
These characters embody the manners and values that we wish were still more prominent today…They show the vulnerability of a man putting his heart on the line in a way that I feel is less commonly portrayed these days…period pieces utilise the simplicity of a time without social media, smart phones, etc. to show a more emotional side to males.
In other words, it seems we’re enchanted by the fantasy of simpler and more authentic times, when flirting involved witty chit-chat, opposed to checking whether your crush text back.
Grace from New York City adds:
We seem to still be drawn to men who are in conflict with their own set of morals. We enjoy watching them struggle between what the outside world demands and what their “true heart” wants…we enjoy seeing them give in, surrender to and follow the more mystical love-based parts of their souls.
This reminds us that despite the power and privilege afforded to many men in days gone by, it still didn’t guarantee them a soulmate. So, perhaps we simply relish the idea of a stuck-up toff getting a shock and realising that property and prestige may be appealing, but they don’t buy happiness.
Trudy Brasure, from Vermont, USA says:
In the face of the power and status they wield, the tender vulnerability they reveal in falling in love becomes something terribly precious and profound…(it) is not as starkly drawn in the modern era, as women and men bear more equality and have much greater freedom today to express themselves openly.
This poses the question of whether our modern rights and expectations have somehow diluted our determination to fight for love in the same way our predecessors had to.
Sticking with that thought of past and present parallels, can historical romances teach us anything about love in 2020?
Sarah thinks yes, saying:
100%. Anyone who has an appreciation for the gentlemen of period dramas will tell you how much it changes your perception of love and romance…Of course, as a woman I value my rights as an equal, but these dramas do not portray men as overbearing. The men are kind, attentive and romantic.
Wade feels that these stories tell us a lot about male-female relationships and who should wear the trousers:
…it teaches us that the key to happiness is listening to our wives…Darcy never has a chance of happiness until he reflects on how badly he bungled his romance…I guess the lesson would be to listen to the women in your life in the first place…
So, there we have it. Our fascination with historical fictitious heroes, is about exploring times and traditions long gone and maybe even mourning them a little. It’s about wishing that love could be more breath-taking than it often feels today. I for one, will continue my devoted affair with dreamboats and petticoats, allowing their legacies to influence my life. But I will not forget to live in reality and relish the equality I’m lucky enough to enjoy in 2020.
I will leave you with a final comment from Sarah, who sums it up in a nutshell:
At the end of the day, we all appreciate a handsome man in a swishing coat, don’t we?
- THEATRE REVIEW: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? - 11th May 2017
- Out Of This World (WORLD PREMIERE) at Macroberts Theatre - 28th April 2017
- Decline and Fall (BBC TV Mini-Series 2017) - 22nd April 2017